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{{langs|en=Civil defence lecture|ru=Лекция по гражданской обороне}}

Good morning, comrades. 
The main weapon of mass destruction of our
the potential enemy is the so-called unclear bomb. It is arranged like this:
the nucleus is in the center, the shell is around. A neutron flies, hits the
nucleus. Bam! Off fly three neutrons. Bam! We have three
more neutrons. Where the first neutron comes from? It's classified.

Imagine the situation: you're walking down the street
and an unclear bomb falls on your head. Your actions?.. Wrong, you must first
alert the population. And only then start dig in. To do this, you
should always wear an entrenching tool on the right flank. This is very important. Experiments
conducted abroad, showed that the corpses that failed to dig in have numerous burns.
Entrenched corpses had none.

Another situation: you're walking down the street and a drop
of colorless and odorless fluid falls on your head. Your actions?.. Right, you must immediately
put on a gas mask. To do this you should always wear it on the left
flank. You must be able to put on a gas mask in the standard time. Remember
that the instantaneous death of mustard gas takes a while ...

One more situation: you're walking down the street and a corpse falls on your head.
Your actions?.. Wrong, we must first give him CPR.
How to do it? With the hands. What if he has no hands?
Then then with the legs. What if he has no legs? Then right to the mouth. What you say?
No mouth? Or the head? Then inject him a painkiller and take him to the field hospital,
where he will receive his first and last aid.

Our lecture is over. You can take off your gas masks.